No longer feeling shame for enjoying ecchi or nsfw things in anime and sometimes gaming

This is something I struggled with since puberty to be honest

The following blog will contain sexual and adult themes and nsfw related subjects 

So if your under 18

Please don't read this!!!

This is for people 18 and over only!!!! 

So minors DNI 

🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞

Anyway let's begin 

For a long time ever since I got more into anime since I was young 

I always enjoyed the asesthics and cuteness of cute anime girls or how pretty and amazing they were

Stuff like this for an example back in the day before looking up anime girl wasn't just ai slop 

Heck I even wrote a whole song about it and made an early 2000s version of it too lmao 

It's not even always for sexual reasons 

Just sometimes it's for their aesthetic or personality or even just as a friend or cuddle buddy or little sibling or big silbing

Like a comfort thing I guess when it comes to cute anime girls 

Although overtime and puberty being well puberty 

There was some aspects i ended up enjoying sexually

And for a long time

I felt shame for it 

Like something was wrong with me

Fanservice anime such as heaven's lost property or even high school of the dead for an example or stuff like girls bravo or high school dxd i remember enjoying a lot back in the day and part of me still does cause of how silly and chaotic the shows are at times 

I even remember really enjoying the game lollipop chainsaw back in my teen years as well

But again 

I always felt something was wrong with me  because of it

That liking this stuff in a sexual way is wrong and shameful

Or "problematic"

This insecurity led me down a bad rabbit hole i regret going down when I became an adult in my early 20s in 2015/2016

Which was the Anita Sarkeesian and Gamergate rabbit hole....

While granted she and that group have things I still disagree with (fuck brianna wu for one and her becoming lowkey terf/right winged I think??)

Looking back

Zoe Quinn and Anita and others  didn't deserve getting harassed for speaking things i didn't realise were issues or important 

I do acknowledge

Both in anime and gaming spaces

Yes

Women both in real life and even in fiction do get objectified 

Do get harassed and end up in themes or things considered problematic and stuff 

I mean heck as an afab person myself I hated the way others went monkey mode over me sexually at times... 

However..

That didn't stop me from also being a degenerate person about cute anime girls or gaming girls in fiction 

Such as the girls from senran kagura 

And of course 

The best girl of all

Bayonetta

Bayonetta taught me you can be tough

Confident and sexy all at the same time and still have a great story and character development 

I can respect characters like her don't repsent all women obviously

But my main criticism with Anita and that group back then  especially on Bayonetta was how her being sexual was wrong 

Or how that women are only sexual just for boys to goo goo ga ga over

When that's not 100% true 

Do I agree some stuff about women in gaming isn't always written well and deserves better respesentation 

Of course

Stuff by David Cage for an example is the perfect example

On how to not write stuff in general especially about women

But at the same time

I'm tired of feeling shame or guilt for enjoying cute anime girls or characters like bayonetta because of a few bad apples or poorly written stuff 

I'm not saying fanservice or ecchi things in both anime and gaming don't need critics or people can't feel uncomfortable from them

Of course they can 

I'm just at a point in my life

Where I just wanna enjoy what I enjoy in fiction 

But dewie you ask??

Some of the characters you like such as utenta hiiragi 

Or other characters in anime

Aren't they minors????

Yeah i acknowledge that

But....

Their not real

Their fictional characters 

And I imagine them aged up or around my age anyway 

Even if in cannon they are minors 

Like in the end these are fictional characters 

People can have their preferences 

And find things uncomfortable or not their thing

Loli and shota for an example 

I'll never see as sexual

I much rather cuddle and protect characters like this 

Not... yeah...

But I'm not gonna get my knickers in a twist over it anymore cause it's not worth it anymore over fictional stuff

The moment people get weird or creepy about REAL MINORS and REAL KIDS

That's when I show no mercy or will keep the fuck away from you (the whitebowser for an example is someone I find extremely disgusting and wrong defs needs to learn to not be a creep towards others and people like him make me sick....) 

But enjoying certian stuff in nsfw

Or ecchi shows like gushing over magical girls

Or bayonetta

Lollipop chainsaw 

Stellar Blade

Senran Kagura

Or other games and animes with silly fanservice or ecchi that doesn't take itself too seriously or just there just cause 

I don't want to feel shame for anymore

People can disagree or not find it their cup of tea

Or don't want me to share certain stuff with them that's perfectly okay I'll respect that

What I'm not okay with is people online called people who enjoy certain themes in anime and gaming 

Creeps

Or especially pedos 

The word pedophile especially really needs to stop being thrown around like confetti Over fictional things or artwork people have made or enjoyed 

Please only call people that word if they actually have hurt or done stuff to actual minors (you know actual predators and sick fucks....)

If you see stuff you don't like online

Please block and move on

Heck if anything I say or do people don't like

Just block and move on and leave me alone and let me mind my own business 

If I do something actually hurtful or harmful

I'm okay with being called out for it even if I am sensitive baby over it

But still...

I'm tired of this guilt and shame

And fearing I'm a creep for what I enjoy

That seeing stuff in a cute or sexual way is wrong

And if people find it wrong or uncomfortable 

That's perfectly okay I'll respect that even if my rejection sensitivity gets to me 

I love cute anime girls 

I love my silly ecchi shows 

I love fun games like senran kagura or bayonetta 

Heck sometimes I enjoy hentai every now and again 

And I love my visual novels especially the ones by yuzusoft and how cute the girls are in the visual novels 

I want to gush about cute they are

How wonderful they are

How they make me laugh

Make me smile

Make me cry

Make me laugh

Make me mad 

How I want to be like then even as a trans masc person 

How I wish I was confident like bayonetta 

Or how cute meguru and futaba are

Or how lewd utena hiiragi is 

That's all

And I'll make these blogs my safe haven to gush about this stuff in peace 

Which I kind of already did with my 100 girlfriends blog and my anime 2024 one 

But still 

Overall

I'll respect and understand what I enjoy isn't for everyone 

And if it makes you uncomfortable in anyway that's perfectly okay

And I even acknowledge and can be aware that yes some things in games and anime can be wrong or not always repsented well

But I will be honest having that awareness 24 7 hurts my brain 

And sometimes I just wanna turn off said brain and be in my happy bubble 

If that makes sense

I just want this guilt and shame to go away and be free to feel joy in what I love about cute anime girls 

Anyway that's it for now

Later my dudes 

Stay hydrated and cool during the hot summer day today in Melbourne