2025 Reflections

 

Well its time for another reflection on the year and what its been for me 

and man its been a rollercoaster thats for sure but overall it feels like a huge improvement and nesscary changes for me 

lets get all the icky sad angy stuff out of the way first and then we get all to all the good nice happy things lol 

Well first theres the fact I felt thrown away by someone and felt played and used by him after him pulling a 180 on supporting lgbt stuff and being asexual to back to being anti of that stuff and hating "woke" things i really felt played and used and thrown away like yesterday's garbage cause of it part of it is my fault for giving bigots a second chance but on the other hand I really hoped he got better and redeemed himself
can you believe all that happened over THIS IMAGE

Like what the actual fuck bruv well its their loss anyway cause I'm still gonna stand for what I believe and nobody gonna stop me because children who are trans and wanna be trans deserve to be themselves the way I wish I was if I figured out my gender at a young age 

its a wholesome and beautiful message 
and you see this energy below? (cw-transphobia, misgendering and inappropriate sexual talk)

WE ARE LEAVING PEOPLE LIKE THIS IN 2025 AND NEVER GIVING THEM ANY CHANCES EVER AGAIN!! 

 

I thought this person was sorry for the way they treated me but their still the same old bully they always were and it really hurt me a lot 

I felt this year because of people like this 

It left me with major trust issues and scared of getting hurt again 

At the same time it really is a reminder to never give bigots any chances or mercy and let them figure out shit on their own cause its not fucking worth it

I need to remember to stop putting my hands onto the oven like no shit its gonna burn idiot 

I'm all for people changing their ways and learning to be better people but I can't deal with it anymore and I need to stop getting myself hurt 

My social anxiety also got worse due to fear of others leaving me or cutting me off over stupid shit such as my anime interests and other things or feeling like I just took up space 

My depression was getting really bad again so it was why I got the higher dosage of meds

I also ended up on an indefinite hiatus of streaming for multiple reasons and to be honest I don't know when I feel like going back to it cause the thought of it freaks me out for multiple reasons 



Alright onto the fun stuff now :D

Now for the good stuff 

I did the hugest walk at the Dandenong Ranges with my support worker around June and while we had a chaotic time at the end and finding a way back we did and survived was very proud of myself that day my support worker and I still talk about that adventure sometimes 

Porter Robinson live and still doing the concert despite my tummy and anxiety issues I felt very proud that day and glad I still went to that amazing show 

I also went to see Green Day live in March which was very healing since the last time I went was with my ex in 2017 and it was such a great time!! 
I would always do what I can to see Green Day over and over again if I could hahahah 

Linabell being a new special comfort character in my life  and helping me during a time I felt thrown away and abandoned yeah I know its probs me just sounding like a "disney adult" cause of her being from duffy and friends but still she really helped me during a rough time for me this year and that I appreciate a lot as well as my current great amazing friends I still have in my life 

Finally figuring out about me having pmdd and getting a higher dosage of my antidepressants which has helped things a lot

I still have moments but not as bad as they use to be at the moment 

Also finally having medication for my ibs issues and learning to tone down a lot on take away and other certain foods which has really helped me a lot 

Especially during animaga and pax where I had little to no tummy issues!!! 
and had the best time checking out new games and buying amazing goodies and art 
and sometimes talking to people x3 and had the best time at the cons

(Art in the Saba Shrine by Yukomeow, cookie.teaa, twee_draws and megiibun pls check out their amazing art!! also suggest in general for local aussie artists screampuffart, littlebink and many more)

These puppets especially are amazing hahahah check out daystardebris and ghostpuppet GB their pretty awesome :3 

Finally going to the punk bar near my area called cafe gummo and while talking to new people still scares me at times I love the vibe and feeling safe there and the awesome music and events and things they have here 

and saving the most important for last 
In October this year 

I did probs the most bravest thing I ever done and was a witness in a zoom court case to help a friend go against an ex friend of ours who has harassed them and also me and others for a very long time (I am not saying names and I rather keep it that way please) 

And it was really scary knowing I would be on webcam wirh my face showing to said ex friend 

But I did to help support my friend 

And im really proud of myself for being a big adult and being very brave to stand up against a person who has caused mental abuse online to my friend and others and even myself for years 

And if said ex friend or their mother tries to contact me again

I will just learn to block and ignore everything 

My sleep schedule fucked up badly due to it and my anxiety got the best of me at times 
but I managed things really well 
it was worth it knowing I can be strong and be a big boy for once which I also had to do for another incident for another friend but irl at the police station which I am keeping private as well The anxiety I felt before the zoom call was EXTREMELY intense

But I did everything I could to handle it

Played legends za

Called beyond blue

Watched an adult swim 2004/2005 broadcast i found to stay awake 

I did everything I could

And was even stimming with a dnd dice while in the call to keep calm and keep having a resting bitch face or professional face lol 

It was the most proud and most brave and amazing I ever felt in a very long time and its a powerful strong feeling I will never forget feeling that intense strong confidence in myself and how much potenial I truly got if I believe in myself and not give up for myself and my friends I know it sounds like cliche cartoon stuff but its true in a way

I'm gonna be 30 tomrrow and while my 20s was an intense rollercoaster of figuring out myself and my emotions and whats good for me in my life or not 

I still have somedays where I feel still feel a lot of remorse and regrets

But I hope when the time comes when my life is over and im on my deathbed I hope at least I know I lived a happy life and made fun great memories

And pls archive my brain and characters just not as ai slop lmao

I'll talk about the more deeper stuff just then in another blog for another time XD

Overall

2025 was the year of hibernating and figuring out my shit mentally 

And slowly figuring out my boundaries and the right people in my life and becoming stronger and better as a person 

I don't really have much goals for 2026 currently other then hopefully legally changing my gender on my birth certficate to trans male/non-binary at this time 

but all I know is I hope 2026 and the rest of my life from now still has beautiful amazing happy times I am happy I am alive and breathing currently for 

and enjoying the little things in my life that make me happy 
such as adorable cute moe art and cute art from australia and other places too

(Art and VN by モノコード yuyumatsu, Shiono Room and Panmimi Soft aka Pan )

Enjoying yummy safe food lunches at places like Fork n Path and Tylers Milk Bar 

Still enjoying gaming or reading vns at times now on the MSI claw especially 

and despite being 30 tomrrow I'll always be a silly koala in the gumtrees

(Photo edited by BluMynx)

Heres to another year around the sun and I hope you all have a nice happy hoildays and happy new year 

later my dudes