Wednesday, December 18, 2024

"I Hate You For What You Did and I Miss You Like A Little Kid"


Probs my most personal heavy blog I'm writing I guess... 

Even though things fell apart badly between me and my ex after him and I broke up around March 2018 and then he fully cut me off April 28th 2018

A part me of still wishes sometimes we could of at least still been just friends 

Starting all over again like nothing happened
And going back to the times of our friendship
Where we walked my old dog Ruby 
And he ran to catch her cause I didn't put the leash on properly 

It was partly thanks to him saving Ruby that day that she lived a long and happy life until 2022 cause who knows what would of happened because of mine foolish and idiotic mistake that day 


Some nights i still see him in my dreams either mad at me or unsure of me or maybe other heavy feelings 
Some days i still get aniexty seeing him in public at pax or the local card shop 

But other days I seem fine 

Deep down 
I'll always miss him
I'll miss our friendship we had
And the memories we made both when we were friends and when we were dating 

Somedays I still wonder if it was all really a lie and I was just someone to pass the time 

That none of it meant nothing unlike how much it meant to me 

That maybe finally with where I am now that he's proud of me and how much I've grown since then 

That somethings he said or did things to force me to leave cause I was too stubborn or foolish 

But those questions and wonders
I may never know the answer too
And maybe that's for the best 

But if for whatever reason  if he ever comes across this

I hope life is treating you well
I hope you get what you always wished for
And I hope you know I don't have hate in my heart anymore after everything

Somedays still sadness and grief
Sometimes like I'm seeing a ghost when I see you in public 

But I hope your happy whatever your doing now

And despite the truama and hurt
I'll always care for you deep down
And wish you well in life


Hope tonight I have better dreams and sleep








No comments:

Post a Comment

Had The Best Night In A Long While

  Been ages since I had a really fun night out  Went out with my partner tonight and we watched How To Train Your Dragon live ac...