So much has happened both good and bad this year
We shall start with some of the good
First I finally got my album Lunalights and Gumtrees done
a long time dream come true since my teen years
sure some of the songs are cringe and stupid
but I am glad its finally done
a huge special thank you to these people who helped me with this album
Meena Shamaly and Daniel Jasper and Saint Ergo who helped with the music
The people at wild at heart melbourne
my friends and family and my partner
and my support workers
you can listen to the album here https://nikoalakuma.bandcamp.com/album/lunalights-and-gumtrees or on soundcloud or youtube links below
https://soundcloud.com/nikoalakuma
https://www.abc.net.au/triplejunearthed/artist/nikoalakuma/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h72ZcL8rrOs&t=1s
I don't know how to add said music on spotify or apple music but if you know how to or know someone who can do it PLS HELP ME :c
but yeah I can't believe something like this is finally done will I do more in the future if the oppturnity comes sure but for now I'm happy I did it
The second major thing that happened this year
Was losing weight and FINALLY getting top surgery feeling more free and happy being my authenic self and happy in my own body for once
I most likely did put back on that weight but I at least learnt some good food habits and wasn't as bad as I use to be
Some other positives include
Getting into the Precure for the first time and really enjoying the franchise and how awesome it is and becoming one of my big hyperfixations
Porter Robinson and his new album Smile
and his songs really helping me a lot during some tough times
The video game Astro Bot being one of the best platformers I played in a long time
Seeing Coldplay live and also Hatsune Miku Live
and going to the midsumma festival and its events which I hope to do again next year
However while there were some postives and joys and wins this year
there was also a lot of sadness and anger and grief I dealt with this year
For one
I had to cut off
2 close friends of mine
who did some disgusting and not okay behavior towards minors such as erping with one online and the other person flirting with one and not checking the age of the person
which made me felt sick and angry
The 1st person I had to cut off for not only hiding what they did from me and our close friends but also lying about not knowing their age
Person 1 was one of my closest friends I was friends with since 2009 and cutting him off was the most painful thing I had to do but it was the right thing to do
I wish that person the best and hope their life changes and they get the help they need and know I still care for them a lot
but I can't have them in my life anymore
maybe in time I will forgive this person in years time but for now I just can't at all but I wish them the best
as for the Person 2 who I knew irl??
yeah nah fuck you fuck off
get fucked and get help and stop being a fucking dumb stupid cunt
Don't care if I seem harsh on person 2
But unlike person 1 who at least felt remorse and got proper help despite them acting wrong obviously
person 2 kept doubling down and making excuses and I am just over person 2's shit in general
so yeah one thing I learnt this year is do not have anyone in my life who did gross behavior towards minors if I find out anyone in my life did sexual or innapooritate behavior towards minors
your gone I can't be around people like that for my own safety and mental health
especially after shit I've been through in my teen years
if you do actions acted upon that are harmful to children or animals especially
I can't be around you full fucking stop
it is against my values
and its even also especially in the satanism rules
yes even satan saids don't do fucked up shit to kids
silly to bring up I know but its true lol
but I guess another lesson I learnt from all this is not everyone is worthy of forgivness and even if you want to forgive someone DO IT ON YOUR OWN TERMS AND WHEN YOUR READY which is what I will do if ever
but for now
fuck no
I also dealt with a lot of stress this year mainly from other peoples dramas and bullshit and even found myself in the middle of one and messing things up friendship wise which I felt really guilty about it but it is what it is and I moved on and learn not to jump or help on stuff right away
so the energy I really need to bring into the new year is mainly well
Be unapologetically cringe and unhinged about my love for cute anime girls and ecchi things such as gushing over magical girls
Not let other peoples bullshit drag me down and try my best to keep out of drama and issues and if people need a listening ear
just listen to them and nod and understand and not take sides
(tinkaton art by blacknirrow on pixiv)
keep enjoying life and the little things that make me happy such as plushies and figures and other cute stuff and video games and anime
Maybe get back into that disability workplace I worked at and get more into archiving work there and hopefully get a part time job once or twice a week somewhere quiet and away from people and where I can still listen to music or youtube videos (its a maybe for now but it would be nice)
and yeah thats pretty much it
Overall 2024 was a big change for me both mentally and psychially but I am proud of myself for making through it and somehow feeling okay on the other end
Remebering those who I love and care for
as well as Madoka, Fluttershy and Teddie
and all the good memories and moments and people in my life
and keep on going and keep having hope and trying my best to not give up
thats pretty much it for now
Happy New Year everyone
heres to another rollarcoaster of chaos and chill
later my dudes
